What really makes a marriage endure? In this week’s Discover the Joy: The Purdy Podcast EXTRA, licensed mental health counselor Jennifer Fortune dives into the keys to long-lasting love, in light of the inspiring example of the Balankys—married for 70 years!
Jennifer shares that strong marriages are built on daily commitments and small actions, not always grand gestures. She also reveals eye-opening statistics: First marriages last 8-9 years, second marriages 7-10 years, and third marriages 5-8 years. She says perseverance is crucial and explains how to do it.
Jennifer discusses common marriage challenges—communication, conflict resolution, and finances—and she stresses the importance of discussing money values early. Jennifer also champions premarital counseling, and notes that many rocky marriages are salvageable!
Guests
- Jennifer Fortune
Jen’s Wellness Recommendations for Couples:
▪ MAKE LOVE EVERYDAY: Got your attention? This is not about sex. See “love” as
an action and a gift. Use your words and actions lovingly, including with
yourself. The more you give love, the better you feel.
▪ DEVELOP AND HONOR DAILY RITUALS: How do you greet/leave one another?
What daily activities do you share? What do you routinely do for one another?
Do you have meals together? Do you exercise together? Do you have a way of
checking in? It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Just a daily habit you enjoy
that communicates “you participate” in your relationship.
▪ BE FULLY PRESENT and IN THE PRESENT: Accessible, responsive and engaged.
Pay attention now, or your partner will get your attention later.
▪ PROTECT WHAT IS SACRED IN EACH OF YOU: Know, respect, and support
each other’s vulnerabilities. Everyone has “soft spots,” limitations, wounds or
insecurities. For a strong, and lasting relationship, be a refuge – the one person
they can count on.
▪ STAY CURIOUS: Listen. Ask questions. Listen. Just listen.
More Resources
Jen’s Favorite Reads for Wellness in Relationships:
▪ Anything written by Thich Nhat Han, Vietnamese Buddhist Zen Master and the
author of The Art of Communicating.
▪ Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD., Author and Medical
Director of the Stress Reduction Program at the University of Massachusetts
Medical School.
▪ Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson, PhD., author & co-founder of Emotion-Focused
Therapy (EFT) approach.
▪ The Relationship Cure by John Gottman, PhD.
▪ How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
by David Brooks, cultural commentator and columnist for the New York Times.
▪ Non-violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD.
